Maddie's Moments

"Somehow forgiveness, with love and tolerance, accomplishes miracles that can happen in no other way." Gordon B. Hinckley This week in my Family Relations class we discussed divorce and the challenges that come from trying to blend two families together after divorce or death.  Divorce is an occurrence that happens all too often in my mind. Today people treat their marriages as expendable and give up when things get hard or a better option comes along. I am a strong believer that you fight for your marriage, especially when times are tough. That's when you need to fight for your marriage the most.  One thing we discussed in my class were some facts about divorce that you don't hear too often. Here are a few of those things: -            63% of couples had stronger marriages after an affair -            Myth- both couples are happy to end the marriage. -            70% of Americans say that after 2 years of divorce they could have and should

"To you who are parents, I say, show love to your children. You know you love them, but make certain they know it as well. They are so precious. Let them know. Call upon Heavenly Father for help as you care for their needs each day as you deal with these challenges which inevitably come with parenthood. You need more than your own wisdom in rearing them." - Thomas S. Monson I am so grateful to have grown up with parents that made sure I knew they loved me. They showed it through their actions and through their words and it's something I will never forget.The loving home I grew up in is one that I hope to have in the future. Now, I'm not a parent right now, but I'm doing all I can to prepare for that exciting time in my life. Sometimes it worries me to see how bad the world is getting. It makes me wonder if we really should be bringing children into this crazy world. Our parents say that my life is harder than theirs was at my age. I've experienced

This week we talked about something very near and dear to my heart, Fathers. 💙 When I think about my Dad, I couldn't be more grateful for the influence he has played in my life. I was lucky enough to have a Dad who was as present in my life. He worked long hours, leaving for work at 6 am and coming back home around 6 pm. My brothers and I would always get excited when our Dad came home because he made the effort to be involved in our lives. He would come to our basketball games, ballet and piano recitals, and play games with us. I remember my Dad even coached one my junior jazz teams. I don't know how on Earth he made time for all that he did, but my Dad was present in my life and it had a major positive impact. My relationship with my Dad is to this day so important to me. I know I can always turn to my Dad because of the strong bond we created as I grew up. Whether a father is present or not can make a great impact in the children's lives, good and bad. Here are

Making decisions is something we will do every. single, day. for the rest of our lives. Some will be big decisions like who we are going to marry, where we will live, and what career we will go into. Others will be smaller decisions like what we will wear for the day, what cereal we'll eat, and what we'll say. When our decisions involve others that's when it's important that we counsel with them. We can counsel in our families, in our marriages, in our church callings, and in our careers. When we counsel, we communicate our thoughts on matters and then compromise and decide together what should be done.  Counseling with my husband is one of my favorite things to do. It's where I get to learn his thoughts on certain topics and honestly, it's a time where I just get to understand him better. We make sure that when we counsel, we are in a comfortable situation where we can open up 100% and be completely honest with each other.  My husband and I have co

At some point, every family will experience a family stress event. Some will experience many in their lifetimes while other will experience less. Nevertheless, we are all going to experience these stressors no matter who we are.  Some family stressors include: - losing a job - moving - a rebellious child - death of a spouse or parent - suicide in the family - death of a child - separation or divorce of a spouse or parent - physical or sexual abuse - spouse or parent has an affair - spouse or parent has an addiction to drugs, pornography, alcohol, etc. - family member jailed or arrested - family member is disabled or chronically ill - etc. etc. etc. etc. (there are SO many more!)  Some families come out of these stressors better than others. These stressors tend to bring the families down, but how the family copes with these events determine if their family will bounce back, become stronger and closer, or if it will be detrimental. It's impor

Real talk here. I honestly don't think we talk enough about just how good marriage is. In the world we live in, we hear far more negative things about marriage than positives. There are SOOO many good things about marriage! Did you know that married people are happier, healthier, and earn more than those who are not married? Cool, right? AND when you are married, you are able to learn and grow in ways that you wouldn't be able to experience any other way.  This week in my Family Relations class we learned about marital intimacy and just how important it is in our marriages. I'm a firm believer that married or not, it's important to learn about sexual intimacy and about how our bodies work. Talking about sex used to be such a taboo and awkward thing for me. I didn't even let my mom have the "sex talk" with me because I said "no no no" and avoided it like the plague. Now that I'm married, I wish I would have learned about it before.  S

The way you start your marriage is important. It's like a cannon. How you start will propel you and continue into your marriage years later. Although you can change the course of your marriage later, it will be really difficult. For women, when marriage problems happen, and they will, women tend to look back to how the marriage started. As my teacher put it, "If the wife can look back and have a lovely story to tell herself, then she can make it."  The way your relationship develops really does matter. Your relationship should be like a staircase, meaning that you take the proper steps to build a healthy relationship. These steps are dating, courtship, engagement, and then marriage.  Nowadays, couple go on one date and then it's like they skip right to courtship after that. They begin steady dating and are committed without even really knowing each other. It's important to go on plenty of dates with each other and get to know as much as you ca

Fifty years ago, dating was a completely different game. People would go on dates, ACTUAL DATES, rather than just hangout like we do today. It used to be that two people would spend time getting to know each other. They would go on dates and talk over the phone. Today, we hangout, text, and try to spend all of our waking time together. Nowadays when people date, they skip over the actual "dating" part of dating and move right on to courtship. People today are far more likely to make out on their first date. That's right, I said their FIRST date together. Here these people hardly know each other and they are jumping right to being physical with each other. That was  unheard of  fifty years ago. As a college student, dating is a big deal, especially at a campus like BYU-Idaho's. Dating is hard as a young adult with the way dating norms have changed. You go on a date with someone and it's almost expected that you two are going to keep dating. Dates rarely happen a

The world "would have us believe men and women are so alike that our unique gifts are not necessary, or so different we can never hope to understand each other. Neither is true. Our Father knew exactly what He was doing when He created us. He made us enough alike to love each other, but enough different that we would need to unite our strengths and stewardships to create a whole. Neither man nor woman is perfect or complete without the other. Thus, no marriage or family... is likely to reach its full potential until husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, men and women work together in unity of purpose, respecting and relying upon each other's strengths." Sheri L. Dew I love this quote. It teaches me that when God created us to be different as men and women, HE KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING. We live in a world where there are many different messages about gender. A few that I've seen and heard are the different stereotypes for men and women, feminists marching for &q

You know those things your family does without ever really being spoken? Yeah? Well those would be family traditions. Every family has different traditions that make up their family culture. These traditions can be a certain way a family does something or a certain belief that is passed down from parents to children and onto the next generations. Not only do these traditions vary from family to family, but also from culture to culture. In China, although it is a law, there is the tradition that each family only has two children at the most. The children are to respect and obey their elders. In Mexico, there is the tradition where families celebrate the lives of their ancestors who have passed on. Family is a focal point to their culture. In India, their is a tradition where in most families, the parents arrange the marriages of their children. In my family, we have the tradition where every time our family is all together, we take a picture. We all complain and grumble every time m

Do you know that one person who goes to their Mom for everything? Okay, I'm definitely guilty of this ✋ I tell her almost everything. She's my go to person. Although I love to tell her everything, I've learned that when it comes to my marriage, there are some things I just need to keep to myself. There are many reasons why turning to your parents for advice is a GOOD thing, but when it comes to your relationships, there is a fine line between explaining  about your relationship and complaining about your relationship.  To explain, I'll share a few theories to help you understand relationships better.  The first is the  Family Systems Theory. Each family is made up of a system. In this system, the circle represents the boundary of the relationships, the husband and wife and the children which create their family.  Keeping the boundary between husband and wife is critical to a healthy relationship. For example, say that the wife turns to her

Last semester I FINALLY decided what I wanted to study and I changed my major to Marriage and Family studies. I honestly don’t know what I would do without my family. Because of things that I have experienced and the things that my family have experienced, advocating families is near and dear to my heart. I know the value of having a family and the importance of fighting for your marriage. It's only week 2 of classes this semester and I've already learned SO MUCH. This blog is dedicated specifically to my family relations class and all that I am learning. This week we learned specifically about family trends throughout the years.  To name a few that we learned about: The Baby Boom The more wealth, the less amount of children in a family An increase of women in the workforce  The women's revolution The introduction of birth control in 1962 The sexual revolution An increase in cohabitation Divorce revolution Living alone Age of moms

Here are a few of my classmates blogs all about what they are learning in our Family Relations class. It's fun to see all the different perspectives we have and all the different things we've been learning! https://dearfuturefam.wordpress.com/ https://redefiningfamily.weebly.com/ https://letstalkfam.blogspot.com/ http://relationshipbackpack.family.blog https://familyrelations.family.blog/ https://fortifiedfamily.blogspot.com/ family-life.blog https://storytoyou.weebly.com  (Links to an external site.) https://myfamilygoals.weebly.com/journal http://rachelbusselberginfo.data.blog  (Links to an external site.)   https://myblendedlife41319.blogspot.com https://dallinkersey.blogspot.com/ https://brooklynsmart.wixsite.com/journeytogether https://marriageandfamilytruths.family.blog/ https://familytakeittothenextlevel.blogspot.com/ https://theparkepost.wixsite.com/theparkepost https://fishsamu01.wixsite.com/blog ht