Week 11: Father's & Finances

This week we talked about something very near and dear to my heart, Fathers. 💙

When I think about my Dad, I couldn't be more grateful for the influence he has played in my life. I was lucky enough to have a Dad who was as present in my life. He worked long hours, leaving for work at 6 am and coming back home around 6 pm. My brothers and I would always get excited when our Dad came home because he made the effort to be involved in our lives. He would come to our basketball games, ballet and piano recitals, and play games with us. I remember my Dad even coached one my junior jazz teams. I don't know how on Earth he made time for all that he did, but my Dad was present in my life and it had a major positive impact. My relationship with my Dad is to this day so important to me. I know I can always turn to my Dad because of the strong bond we created as I grew up.

Whether a father is present or not can make a great impact in the children's lives, good and bad. Here are a few things I learned while studying this topic.

• Without dads as role models, boys' testosterone is not well channeled
• With an involved dad, boys become among the world's most constructive forces
• Without an involved dad, boys become among the world's most destructive forces
• Girls become more prone to promiscuity, depression, and self-harm when their father isn't involved in their lives

It's clearly evident that having a father present makes a major difference. Honestly, these are just a few of the effects of fathers, but there are so many more. One parent raising children is not enough. Those kids will struggle. It's sad because I know many people are in situations where they can't control this. When I lived in Maryland, I saw so many families that struggled because the dad was in prison, an alcoholic, abusive, or was just never present. These people struggled in a way that I could never imagine. 

Another topic we discussed was the changing roles of men and women. Years ago, families were much closer. The families would literally work together on a farm or in a family business. With the industrial revolution, all that changed. The families moved from the countryside to the city where oftentimes everyone, even the children, worked. Particularly the fathers were taken out of the home working long hours. One of the readings for this topic said that fathers were treated more like guests in their own homes because they were gone so often. It made it more difficult for the fathers to connect to their children. The responsibilities of the fathers shifted to mother. Mothers had to take on roles that the father handled before such as discipline. 

Another change is women entering the workforce. The vast majority of people today that if you are a stay at home mom, you aren't as intellectually valuable. One article described this as "a full time homemaker swapping her mind for a mop." I would argue that this isn't true. Although the world has this opinion, stay at home moms have much to offer. These moms are fully capable of developing their intellect just like working moms are. 

Another topic is the consequences of both the mother and father in the workforce. If the women enters the workforce, there are more costs like a professional wardrobe, child-care, increased taxes, cost of commute, more eating out, less time with family, may limit a growing family, etc. Researchers found that the real combined income with all of these extra expenses from having a second job, was LESS than it was with just the husband. In the study, the income for the husband alone was $45,000. When the wife also enters the workforce, her income along with her husband's was estimated to be around $42,500 total. That is LESS than her husband was making by himself. This woman lost 32 hours a week to her family. It sure sounds enticing to have more income, but at what cost?

It amazes me at how much the family has changed over time. The family is literally disintegrating. It's really up to us to change that, to create strong families and teach our children so they will do the same. 

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