Week 10: Councils

Making decisions is something we will do every. single, day. for the rest of our lives. Some will be big decisions like who we are going to marry, where we will live, and what career we will go into. Others will be smaller decisions like what we will wear for the day, what cereal we'll eat, and what we'll say. When our decisions involve others that's when it's important that we counsel with them.

We can counsel in our families, in our marriages, in our church callings, and in our careers. When we counsel, we communicate our thoughts on matters and then compromise and decide together what should be done. 

Counseling with my husband is one of my favorite things to do. It's where I get to learn his thoughts on certain topics and honestly, it's a time where I just get to understand him better. We make sure that when we counsel, we are in a comfortable situation where we can open up 100% and be completely honest with each other. 

My husband and I have counseled with each other about where we should live, how long we should take to finish school, when we want to become parents and how we should raise our kids, and so many more things. I honestly believe we would have missed out on many experiences that have brought us closer together if it weren't for these councils. 

When Conner and I were dating, we counseled with each other about whether we should get married or not. We would talk with each other about our dreams and goals in life and what things we wanted in a marriage. Then, we would talk to our parents and to God and then come back and talk to each other again. We made a habit of counseling with each other, with our families, and with God before we made a decision. Clearly things worked in our favor, but I am grateful that we made the effort to counsel before deciding to get married. 

Another thing my husband and I have counseled about recently is money. Getting married there are all of a sudden so many more things to worry about financially. Before, my parents had helped me out and taken care of my taxes, insurance, and a lot of things like that. Now these are things I have to worry about because I'm officially out of "the nest." Conner and I were able to figure out how we would handle all of these things with a council. 

I know that I can definitely improve the way I counsel with my husband and others. I think that the quorum of the 12 apostles and the first presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints are a great example as to how we can hold an effective council. They meet weekly and have a pattern for their councils.

First, they express love for one another.

Second, they begin with a prayer.

Third, they discuss matters until they come to a consensus regarding God's will.

Fourth, they close with a prayer and ask God if what they decided is right.

Fifth, they have refreshments.

As we discussed this in one of my classes, my professor pointed out that in this pattern, they begin and end with things that bring them together. I love it. This helps councils to feel less intimidating and more friendly. Another thing my professor noted was that it's important for each member to feel that they are valued and that their opinion matters. It's important to create safe, loving places when we counsel.

This pattern has definitely inspired me in ways that I can improve my family council with my husband. I hope it helped you too.